Last updated on: Dec. 7, 2020, 4:15 a.m.

Fun vs duty

For almost everyone in the world any activity falls into one of the two broadly defined categories - the “necessary stuff” and the “fun” stuff. Going to work, washing the dishes, cleaning up after the kids or paying the bills are common examples of the first one, while eating ice-cream, travelling, volunteering for a charity, sleeping late or sleeping with someone pretty are most certainly of the latter category. Of course, one man’s fun could very well be other’s drudgery. Most people, however, would know very well what fun means for them. And most people think they don’t have enough of it. We can safely say, then, that the ultimate goal of every person is to increase the amount of fun he or she can have in this life.

The modern cursus honorum is a joy killer

The golden standard for the 21st century’s “cursus honorum”, or the course of honour, as Romans called the proper succession of steps for an honourable man to strive to achieve through his life (see this Wikipedia page for unrelated, but interesting historical background), is rather simple:

  • Have “fun” in your early childhood
  • Study hard in school
  • Maybe go to uni, study hard there
  • Work hard until you reach the age of retirement (65+ in many developed countries)
  • Retire and have “fun”

It is implicit that you can have some “fun” now and again even when during your studies, or in the course of some 40+ years of work. It also goes without saying, that you won’t have too much time for it. A working man or woman is ruled by the clock. And the clock is one of the greatest joy killers ever invented by humans. The “necessary stuff” you have to do take a lot of your time during working career, so your only salvation, as the modern society preaches, comes at the age of the retirement.

There are some lucky people to whom the “necessary stuff” is a source of “fun” as well. A doctor, who loves helping her patients, a businessman, getting high from another successful negotiation, an artist, putting finishing touches to the latest creation. It is fair to say, that most people are not in this category, and would do less of the necessary stuff and more of the fun variety. And it is the money that they need that prevents them from doing so.

The trap of consumerism

So, why do we need so much money to begin with? The 21st century brought us many good things and bad things. An amazing array of gadgets, clothing, toys, services, types of entertainment are available to a modern person even with modest means. The mightiest king living 200 years ago wouldn’t be able to exchange messages with someone living at a distance of 10,000 miles, no matter how much gold he would be prepared to spend. And today it is quite trivial and costs next to nothing. In many ways, the quality of life of almost everyone in the developed parts of the world is considerably better than of the elites of the past centuries. The bad thing about this abundance of new stuff and opportunities is the incessant temptation. It is in the human nature to always desire more.

The modern economy has at its core the seduction of the consumer to buy more. Anything goes in the name of increasing sales, to oil the engine of growth. Direct advertisements try to convince us to buy new stuff. When our friends of family acquire something, this often causes us jealousy and envy, pushing to imitate them. The ubiquity of both printed and online mass media and social networks ensures prompt delivery to every wandering eye a stream of images of glamorous and richly attired pretty people. Millions want to emulate them, more often than not by buying stuff. Instant payment via the omnipresent credit cards makes this process scarily easy, and delays the hour of reckoning.

No wonder the large majority of even relatively affluent people of the developed world live from one monthly wage to another. With so many things to buy, so many things to enjoy, who can afford to think about the future, the savings, the retirement? Your sister has a new dress - surely you deserve one of your own? The neighbours built a conservatory? Of course your house requires some sprucing up as well! Your child’s classmate sign up for karate - off to the best dojo your offspring goes! And so on, and all the while you work extra hard just to keep up with the current financial commitments, in the hope to finally rest when you reach that remote retirement goal.

The moment of truth

And so here comes the glorious hour - you are finally retired and free! Time to enjoy your newly found liberty to the fullest. Or is it? You are in the late sixties, and although many people live nowadays into their eighties, this doesn’t mean they all all have the health and energy of their younger selves. On the contrary, many senior citizens suffer from various chronic diseases, seriously reducing the quality of life. High blood pressure, heart conditions, diabetes and other ailments often afflict the elderly. So instead of thoroughly enjoying yourself you end up spending a lot of times visiting doctors and hospital, or recovering at home.

You might also find yourself in not very enviable financial position. If you are used to high living during your working years, you might not adjust your spending to the new circumstances. If your savings and pensions won’t cover them, soon there will be hell to pay.

On top of that, your relationships might not be in the state you presumed they were. Your spouse, your children, they might not be prepared to having you around for so much longer all of the sudden. And you yourself might discover abruptly that the people around you are not as you thought they were. Or you might find yourself all alone, failing to create a family in the busier days of your working life and finding it extremely difficult to do it now, when you are neither young nor as pretty as before.

A way out?

All this beggars a question - why spend all this money now, as soon as you get it? Why not to compromise and be a bit more frugal? Reduce consumption today, no matter how attractive, and save? Essentially, delay and prolong the enjoyment. If you save enough money, maybe you can retire earlier, still in your prime? Yes, you won’t be wearing the latest and the finest threads or driving a new car every year, and your house might only be 100 square meters for a family of three and not, say, 300. On the other hand, by working less, you will free up time to do many other important things. Connect with your loved ones, work out more for long term health benefits, reduce stress and anxiety. And yes, retire early, if you wish so!

A frugal way of life requires changes. First and foremost in your own thinking, and in the thinking of the people living with you. You will have to win your spouse / partner over for this to work successfully. Once you do, and once you make up your mind, finding ways to save, to be frugal, will be surprisingly easy! For example, you can walk instead of driving. This is a seemingly small thing, that might improve your life in more than one dimension. Not only will you save on transportation, but you will improve your health, and maybe see more of your surroundings. And if you are worried about the environment, well, this will be your small, but practical contribution towards improving it.

Buying in bulk and cooking at home healthier food is a great way to save on eating out. Involve the whole family in the process, if practical - a dish cooked together tastes better! Buy stuff secondhand, where feasible - save money and, again, reduce our environmental footprint.

Spend free time outdoors hiking for free or very cheaply, rather than go shopping or travelling to remote exotic places. You will often be surprised by the beauty of the nature on your doorsteps. And again, healthy walking/hiking on regular basis will do wonders to your long term health, physical and mental. Those often translate into much smaller medical bills.

Avoid or reduce consumption of alcohol and other addictive substances, since they are costly and have undesirable side effects. This is not a religious site, so we don’t and won’t advocate absolute abstinence as some sort of mandatory thing. It is, however, very much possible to be happy and enjoy life to the fullest while remaining quite sober. Having reduced stress and more free time goes a long way to ensure this and to reduce the need to self-medicate with wine, cannabis or any other drug of choice.

Sour grapes

Some people feel they really need that new BMW, they must have the latest handbag or bigger house, even though they can hardly afford it. For them, not having these things here and now causes serious anxiety, lack of happiness. Life turns into prolonged endurance effort, rather than something even resembling enjoyment. All the talk about saving and frugality, about not needing too many material things sounds to them like “sour grapes” from those who simply cannot afford what they secretly want. What can we say here? Truthfully, each person will choose their own destiny, whether in matters financial, sentimental or professional. If a person desperately needs a BMW to be happy, we won’t judge. After all, who knows, that improved emotional state might lead to constructive improvements in other areas of life. And if and when the financial chicken come home to roost, we won’t gloat and say “told you so”. Life is full of surprises and even the most cautious and frugal among us might find themselves in a tight spot.